Queer Dear?
There comes a time in every gay boy’s life when he just thinks, “Sod it!”. It’s not so much coming out these days as relaxing into your sexuality, taking it a step at a time and doing what ever feels comfortable for that person.
Of course first year was spent going to the Goat and having “mad craic”. This was fine for me at the time, Cork was all new to me, so I was hardly going to pop down to Taboo (RIP) and have a fag and a pint on my own.
I suppose my very first step was buying Attitude (FHM for homos) in the newsagents, my face going as red as the cover of that issue. That was a long time ago but to this day when I pick it up off the shelf and bring it to the till, the unsuspecting girl working there would gawp at it and shove it into a paper bag as if it was porn.
Actually, if I really think about it my self-confessed bad taste in music was the first step in coming out. In school everyone knew I loved S Club 7, and subsequently I got the piss ripped out of me (and deserved it!). So it was no big surprise to my best friends when I told them. “Yeah I kinda knew”, was the lukewarm reaction I got from most of them. “Don’t worry I’ll still treat you the same”, I got from one of my ditzy friends at the time. She treated it as if I had picked it up on holiday. “One of your boys did my hair once” she gushed. “Oh Jesus woman, quit while you’re behind” I thought to myself.
My family seemed fine about it (I know I’m still the favourite child). My older brother and sister didn’t seem to say much, but telling my mother was peculiar to say the least. She did seem a little upset but basically said the same thing my brother and sister said, “that’s fine dear, now lets never speak of it again”. Being typically Irish, we had dinner and did exactly that. If we see a “problem” we tend to ignore it. How many people get up and form an orderly queue when the fire alarm goes off in the library? Acceptance takes time, so does coming out. As I said above, it is best to take it step by step and do what feels comfortable.
Bored of flicking through my Attitude, I decided to give a wander down to PF44 on a Wednesday. At this stage I was so sick to death of going to straight pubs and clubs, watching my mates score with each other. “Isn’t it time I had a little fun?” I said to myself.
I popped my head round the door and gasped that there was actually more than 10 people there! The worst thing about me is that when I’m nervous I talk faster than Bosco on speed! You couldn’t shut me up I was so nervous. But the group didn’t seem to mind, we soon got to know each other and then it was off to the pub for a well-needed pint.
I can honestly say that going to the LGB meetings was the best thing I did last year. It turned my life into something enjoyable and something that I didn’t have to be scared or ashamed of. So if you do happen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual or you’re not sure, then the LGB Society is a great outlet to meet likeminded people and be yourself.